Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
