I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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