okay pat passed out under dana's car
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
