someone threw a dead crab at me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
