names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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