well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
