ugly people sure do ruin things
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
