just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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