Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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