it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
