Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
