How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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