Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What a dumb baby whore.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
