I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
