dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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