I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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