I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
