Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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