So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
