My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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