I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
