When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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