i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
