It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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