So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
