You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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