Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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