he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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