Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
