i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
