just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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