We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
