When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
