Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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