dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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