dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Four minutes until I can fart!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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