The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
