You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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