in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
