I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
