I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
