You just made me feel so damn special
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
