My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
