i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
