are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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