I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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