I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
