If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
