This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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