Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
